Living Out of Your Strengths

Chapter 1

I have a mental picture – more like a movie, of God deciding which gifts to give someone. I see God gazing down at a child (let's say the child is you), with big grin on his face. His eyes twinkle at the sight of you.

An angel stands behind Him, holding an enormous book filled with every good thing. Page after page of strengths, talents, and breathtaking abilities.

The angel thumbs through the book. "Most Holy One, which gifts will you give this child?"

God's eyes dance with delight as He ponders the wonders He can bestow upon you. He doesn’t want to rush this moment of joyous contemplation. He peers down at you, His smile growing.

God throws his head back and laughs with pure joy. In this moment He will give you everything you need to live a successful life on earth. Oh, He knows you so well. He knows what will bring you joy.

The angel is laughing. "Will you give this child courage? A love for nature? A sense of humor?

The Lord of Heaven and Earth turns to the angel and says, "To this child I’ve already given the greatest gift of all. I have given my Child so that we can forever be connected, in relationship."

Then God begins to dance around, arms flung overhead as He shouts out, "But even still, I have every good gift to give. I am generous beyond all human measure. The joy it brings me is uncontainable."  

The Almighty God, Creator of heaven and earth, bends down and whispers in your ear, "Here my child. These are for you. I give you these gifts. Grow in them. Explore them. Use them to bring glory to My name. Let them be a constant reminder of my great love for you."

What’s different about the strength based approach?

A few years ago my husband, who is a pastor, and I attended a weekend of meetings for leaders within our church district.  These are pleasant times of catching up with other pastors and spouses we do not have regular contact with during the year.

At lunch, the pastor's spouses were asked to sit together. Feeling bold, I approached a table where three other pastor's wives were seated, and introduced myself.

As we ate one of the ladies, who was young and very new at being married to a pastor (or being married at all, for that matter), made comments about things she was not good at doing.  Before she had a long list. As we closed in on dessert, she said something that made my ears perk up. "I’m not good at remembering a lot of details, but I write things down. I’m good at being organized."

I smiled and said, "Good for you. I believe it’s important to use our strengths. Improving on the things we are already good at is what really matters in life."

I heard a sharp snorting sound. I looked at another woman at the table, who had produced the noise. She punctuated her disbelief of my statement by muttering "Yeah, right. Whatever."

I said, "What do you think is the better alternative?"

She answered immediately, "You must work on things you’re not good at. If there is weakness in your life, you need to work to make it strong."

"Oh," I said. "I don't think I’ll be doing that. There are far too many things I’m not good at."

"What?" The women exclaimed.

"Look around you, ladies." I said. "There must be 100 people in this room. Each person here is probably good at many things that I’m not good at. Each one has strengths that I do not have. If I were to take all the strengths of all the people here in this room and line them up against the wall, I would find literally hundreds of strengths that I don't have. That is hundreds of things that I would need to 'work on' in order to improve. I would spend my life trying to get better at things I’m not good at.  Moreover, I’d be miserable!

"If, on the other hand, I were to spend my time focusing on the things I’m good at, I’d be able to better see myself the way God sees me; someone He created and gave wonderful gifts to. Gifts He wants me to use.”

The second pastor’s wife said, "But you said that she shouldn’t even worry about the things she isn’t good at. I think the Bible tells us just the opposite.”

“Actually, that’s not what I said. What I said was that I thought she was doing a great job of using her strengths in order to manage areas of her life she wasn’t good at. She said she wasn’t good at remembering things, but she was good at writing things down and keeping them organized. She is using her strength of writing things down and being organized to manage her less than perfect memory. So she doesn't have to worry about remembering, she only has to look at what is written down.”

I don’t think I was successful at changing the mind of the second young woman but that’s okay. I understood where she was coming from. I had been there myself. She was trapped in a rut of seeing people, not for what they were good at, but for what they should be good at. From this perspective it was not good enough that our fellow table mate was good at writing down her appointments. Because, this perspective tells us that she should improve her memory.

When we see people from a perspective of how they could be improved, we miss the joy of seeing people for the miracle they each are. Every one of us has been given specific strengths which we can work from very effectively.

This example from my experience gives a good overview of the concepts of strengths. Now we need to look specifically at how to use your strengths to make the lifestyle change that is important to you. I want to tell you about the one question that consumes my life:

How?

I’m always asking "How?"

"How does that work?" "How do I change this?" "How can I do that?" "How can I make this work?"

How?

Over the years I have read stacks of research papers, magazine articles, and books about making life changes. I usually ended up thinking "Good advice. But how do I do it?"

The question is not answered in the pages of I have read. The advice is general, and often vague. Or worse, so burdensome that it is unlikely that I will actually do it at all.

Many times the advice given amounts to 'do what I’m doing', or 'follow these steps'. I read, I think, "I can’t do that. It just isn't me." It would be like wearing someone else’s skin. I might try to follow the steps, but, in time, I would grow weary of the effort and revert to my old patterns, habits, and ways of thinking.

I would throw up my hands and say, "It’s too hard! I can't change!"

Then I discovered the key to making authentic changes in my life. The key to this discovery was as close as the skin I was in. The reason I couldn’t find the answers was because I was asking the wrong questions. I kept saying “What’s wrong with me?” What I needed to be saying was, “What’s right with me?”

When I began asking that question, everything changed.

And it will for you too.

Living Out Of Your Strengths will show you the answer to "how" in a very personal and authentic way. Within these pages you will discover not just general concepts and advice about what may work for you. This is your personal road map to "how?"  The road that lies ahead is one of your own crafting.

In the chapters ahead you will:

•    Discover your strengths.

•    Find out what your strengths mean to you, how they work, and how you have used them in the past.

•    Learn what changes you truly want to make.

•    Learn how to choose a goal that is important to you.

•    Build a map, using your strengths, that will move you along your road to change.

•    Discover how to see your journey from the perspective of what you are doing right

•    Learn ways to keep track of your journey of change.

•    Problem solve times in your journey when you feel "stuck" by applying your strengths to the situation.

•    Celebrate authentic change.