Communication?

 I’m talking, but am I saying anything? What I say can be of lasting worth or it can be like candy floss - dissolving the moment it hits my tongue. Worse, my words can be like an ant at a picnic, annoying, bothersome; something everyone wishes to avoid. So how do I know the difference? When is my chatter just so much clatter? There are a few warning signs I have come to recognize over the years.

The Professor is In: Sometimes I talk just because I know (or think I know) something about what is being discussed.

 The Barking Dog Syndrome:

To repeat or not to repeat? I have a rather quiet, introspective husband. He is a thinker who must hash things out in his noodle before sharing it with me (or anyone for that matter). In my calmer moments I understand and even appreciate this quality. However I have my less than calm moments where waiting for his thought process to spit out his final answer is nothing less than torture. It is during this time that I can easily jump into “Chihuahua mode” yapping a repetitive mantra in hopes that it will somehow kick him into overdrive and cause him to answer me NOW. As if I expect my husband to look at me and say, “Thanks honey. All that inane chatter while I was trying to think really helped me out”.

I’m Right, You’re Wrong:

 There have been times when I was absolutely, positively, finally and utterly right. In these moments, I have dug in my heels and sputtered out those most ridiculous words, “oh yeah?” All too often I have found that when I was so sure I was right was also when I had overlooked some important detail, railroaded over some small fact that did not fit my theory or, worse of all, simply did not have my story straight at all. It is always embarrassing to have to eat my foolish words and I always end up wishing I had not said them at all.

Now, I realize that whenever I feel the need to push my oh so correct opinion on another person, it is a sure sign I am talking too much. When I find myself standing with hands on hips, staring down a loved one, friend or total stranger, it is a good sign for me to stop talking.

It has been said that the key to communication is brevity. Let me add that it is well thought out brevity. I by no means advocate grunts and shrugs and facial grimaces as effective communication (Proverbs 15:1). Whether I am sharing my faith, calming a crying child, counseling a client or asking for directions, my question to myself should be, “what is important to say to this person?” “What do they need to hear from me?” Often the answer is, “very little”. Most times it is the act of listening that is needed most. Which one would I pour my own heart out to; my chatty know-it-all neighbor, or my caring friend who takes the time to really hear what I am saying before she speaks?